At 34 I finally understood why people want to be in relationships

Anna Duweke
2 min readDec 13, 2021

And that, mind you, dear reader, despite growing up with parents in a loving and respectful marriage.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Truth is, aside from my parents, I only know two other couples who are in healthy, loving, respectful, and functional relationships.


That’s not a lot.

But it’s something.

It’s enough to be inspired by. To be shown that it is indeed possible. Maybe rare, but possible.

Now, I am part of the third couple and to be honest, I am regularly surprised by how it feels to be in such a relationship.

Healthy. Loving. Respectful. Functional. Mutually supportive.

Other than as a child of my parents, I’ve never felt so loved, respected, cared for, and supported in my life.

It’s often the small things that give me this warm and fuzzy feeling, knowing everything is how it’s meant to be. For me, for them, for us.

There are realizations that are hitting me only now. Some completely new and some on a deeper level.

I’ve asked for this. I came to a point at which I said: Only this or better.

I was clear. I left space for more and better. There wasn’t the tiniest chance that I would get into anything that would be less than that. Again.

And I was willing to stay single for the rest of my life in case a relationship like I desired wasn’t meant for me. I surrendered and that, my dear reader, was a whole long-ass process on its own as you can probably imagine.

The power of surrender.

The power of knowing what you want and don’t want and at the same time not just accepting, but surrendering to what’s (not) meant for you.

Thirty-four years can seem a long, or a short time. In the end, it doesn’t matter.

We all have our lessons to learn, experiences to make and we’re all on our own timeline.

No matter which part of your story you’re writing at the moment of reading this, know that things can become much better than you think they can. For real.

With love,



Anna Duweke

Writing from my couch in Brussels to your screen. All about life and this fascinating yet oftentimes strange human experience. Say hi on Insta, if you like.